Does Being Courageous Mean NO Fear?

If you have been following me for a while, you have seen my business go through a significant transformation in the past few years.

Now, I am often asked how I am able make such change so rapidly; how I am able to accomplish all that I do. One person recently asked, “How do you have the courage to keep putting your stuff out there?”

I have been able to make some incredible changes and continue to step boldly forward in my business and my life. Yes, it does take courage, but it doesn’t mean that I have no fear! It has taken a lot of courage to break away from the “old” way and step into the “new” way of doing business.

Many of the changes may seem, on the surface, to have been easy. However, the truth is, some have been so challenging that it has taken my breath away at times.

One of the things I see that stop most people from really getting what they want out of life is FEAR. The specific fear may be different for everyone.  It is fear, nonetheless.

I deal with fear myself. However, a couple of years ago, one of my coaches told me, “It is not the actual event we fear most, it is the FEELINGS it will make us feel that we are most afraid of.” Think about that. It is just the FEELINGS we are afraid of.

For me, that one statement has changed my world!

I no longer let the fear stop me. I learned that fear will not go away, but my ability to step forward in spite of the fear has substantially increased. As I begin to walk into the fear, it begins to lose its grip. I now take on new challenges, step forward in bold ways and develop new programs for my clients all the time.

In this journey, I have learned a few keys that have supported me in stepping through the fear, instead of being stopped by them.

Don’t take things personally:

I used to stop short of doing something because of my fear of what others would think.  I also hear from clients how they are afraid to do something because someone else is going to get mad at them or be upset.

The thing to remember is, people do not say or do thing TO you, but rather, they say and do things FOR themselves.

In short, it is not about YOU if someone gets upset, so don’t take it personally.

Talk about it:

This is why coaching has so much value. Talking to someone who has your best interest in mind helps release the “steam” of fear. Sometimes just by talking about what you are afraid of increases your confidence in your ability to do it anyway.

One of the comments I get frequently from my clients is just having someone to bounce things off of and get advice has been one of the most valuable gifts to them in our coaching relationship.

I agree, my coaches, mentors and mastermind buddies have been HUGE for me to vent my challenges, give me perspective and offer resources that help to continue to move me forward.

Make the decision:

I recently wrote about what it means to make a decision. Making the decision to do something – fully committing to it – has been the #1 key to accomplishing all that I have in these last few years.

When you commit to what you want, you gain the courage to do what it takes. Having a support system behind you also helps hold you accountable to the decisions you make.

It is not that I do not have fear; it is just that I act in spite of my fear.

Celebrate:

We often are quick to bring up our failures, mistakes and what goes wrong.

It is super important to congratulate yourself for doing something that you were previously scared to do.

A while back, I dealt with this when I posted my first video blog. I was terrified! However, as soon as I did it and posted it, I was exhilarated.

I was so proud of myself that I quickly emailed my mastermind buddies, phoned my sister, and anyone who was available!

What was more exciting than seeing the video posted, was the fact that I did something that I was so fearful to do.

Is it perfect? By no means!  However, I did it.

Congratulate yourself for having the courage to act in spite of what you feared.

There is excitement in doing something you were previously fearful to do. It’s a feeling that is unexplainable. Each time you do it in spite of the fear, not only does the fear dissipate, but you gain more courage to do it again and take even bigger leaps.

© 2008-2010 The Business of You, Inc.

Comments

[Barbara Wilber, ACC]

What a great post. I appreciate your transparency and can so relate to the power that fear can have on me as I pursue that is most important to me! When you said “It is not the actual event we fear most, it is the FEELINGS it will make us feel that we are most afraid of" it reminded me of something I know to be true: Fear is just a thought and not the actual event. Only I have the power to make it real! Thanks for the encouragement you give!

[Jo Della Penna]

Absolutely, Barbara!

WE have the power, not fear. The more we understand that, take action and live it, our lives would be magnificently transformed!

I appreciate your kind words. ;-)